Our Journey To Owen

Palate is now closed....let the talking begin!

2010-03-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

Hello. Well Mr. Owen survived his March 22 palate closure surgery very well. In fact, he was released from hospital a day early because he was doing so well. Physically that is. Mentally, well lets just say the nurses were probably glad to be rid of him! As expected, getting between Owen and his favourite pasttime of eating has caused quite a bit of upset. He can only eat soft foods, and initially we had to feed him. He is very stubborn and very independent so you can imagine how that went over. Even though he was very hungry, Owen was refusing to eat all but the littlest bits. Now on day 7, its getting better but it is still a big fight and temper tantrum at every meal time. Its definitely been a challenge!

However, Owen seems to be healing nicely (I think, as he hardly lets me look into his mouth). His tylenol doses are now spaced quite far apart and he does not indicate being in pain. We've broken some rules and allowed him a few non pureed foods off the list (today, a bear paw) and he eats without wincing. So thats good news. We see the surgeon for a follow up on Thurs so maybe I'll finally get to see in that mouth!

Prior to this Owen and I (mama) were bonding, but this process has definitely sped things up. At the hospital all he wanted was to be on me, and since returning home its been cuddle non stop. Owen's latest thing is falling asleep on either Paul or I. We were told to expect him to start saying more words as soon as the pain subsided, and we're already seeing that. So far we have heard "mine" and "wow", "no", and some other words that were previously just vowels/tonal are now coming through much clearer. Today I saw Owen experimenting with his tongue trying to speak so I expect we will be hearing from him more and more. Its so exciting to hear him speak. We have noticed that his voice is now higher, more nasally, with less opening to echo in his head.

So thats it for now. We're doing well and will check back with more later...

Week 3, almost there!

2010-02-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

As of today, Owen is almost at the one month post surgery mark. Every day his bruising is less and less. He is over his chest cold now and completely back to normal. Owen is very pleased with himself (looks in the mirror often) and can now say a few things, like "hi mama". Going out in public is a whole new thing now. Some people know he's had a cleft repair, while others just think he fell, LOL. A little girl at Rae-Lynn's tae kwon do studio commented this "hey, that little boy's lip grew back". Well, sort of ! Mostly people just think he's cute. This is great news for Owen, who is Mr. Social, and is enjoying all of the attention.

We were excited to learn that one of our dear friends has switched to the waiting children's program and has asked for a child with cleft. Another is on the brink of receiving her "referral" (the Chinese adoption version of the stork arriving, via paperwork). We are happy to provide any information and support to anyone who chooses this wonderful program. It is certainly working for us!

2 weeks out (After!)

2010-01-28T07:17:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of Owen's progress. The first is day 1. You can see he looks pretty swollen, mostly from the IV fluid being pumped into him. By his release date (day 3) he looked much better and just had the swelling to contend with. The little orange thing in his nose is used to hold open his rebuilt nostril while it is healing. Last pic was taken today. As you can see Owen is looking pretty good! He still has a small amount of bruising and swelling but he's almost there. The hardest part has been the ear and chest infection that he picked up while at the hospital. Its made him much more miserable than the surgery! Owen is on antibiotics and its clearing up. I can tell he's feeling better because he has most definitely been acting up (2 time outs in 2 days, both for throwing his food like some kind of ape).

We now know that our next adventure, palate surgery, is scheduled for March 22. This one makes me nervous as I am told the recovery is much harder. Its exciting though, because 6 weeks after that we start speech therapy, and find out what Owen has to say.

Our biggest challenge in the next 6 weeks will be finding stuff to do while on a budget (ok, broke). We're both getting cranky and definitely need to get out and doing things. Hmmmm.

WOW

2010-01-11T17:06:00.001-08:00

Wow is all that I would've had said, but I was speechless, when I walked into recovery and saw Owen today. His surgery went so incredibly well. He is like a new person, but also something hard to explain, which is that he now looks like what he is like on the inside, and how we have seen him with our heart's eye. So very very cute. He now has a cute little nose and a cute rosebud mouth. Swelling and bruising, sure, but that will pass soon.

He is doing very well. At dinner hour he was signing that he was hungry and hoovered back some yogurt and applesauce. He doesn't like the armbands, as predicted, so my work will be cut out for me the next 2 weeks. I think they'll probably end up releasing him from the hospital, because he won't be satisified with laying in bed for too much longer. That boy wants to go go go.

I didn't want to bother him with pictures today, but I will take a few once the swelling has gone down. It truly is a miracle. When I see Dr. Strumas tomorrow I may have to kiss him LOL.

It's almost time!

2010-01-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well Owen's little bag is packed and we're just getting ready for that early rising. His surgery is at 8 am so we have to be at the hospital for 6:15. Rae-Lynn is spending the night at Grandma's (thanks!) which makes things much more simple. She is a little upset to be separated from her brother, and I think a little worried for him too. Rae-Lynn said tonight "but I like him the way he is", which is very nice to hear.

As for myself, I am getting some jitters on Owen's behalf. He's going to be pretty miserable and I wish there was a way to take that away for him. But there isn't so we'll have to help him as best as we can. I had a dream the other night that when he came out of surgery his lip was beautifully fixed but they also made him Irish (red hair, the works). Crazy!

Ok, thats all for now. Stay tuned!

Pre-op visit

2010-01-06T06:32:00.000-08:00

Owen and I spent the morning at Mac hospital yesterday, going over all of the pre-operative necessaries. I will say this, having a child with limited medical history has its downside but it definitely cuts down on the appointment times significantly (my answer to about 75% of it was 'I don't know'). We also saw the ENT doctor while we were there, who essentially looked in Owen's mouth and said "yup its a cleft". (sigh) I'm sure there was a good reason for that appointment, which has yet to reveal itself. Today we are off to Chedoke for a hearing test, which is needed before they can put in the ear tubes (for drainage).

We are told that one of us will be in the OR with Owen while they put him out. I have voted that someone will be Paul as I am not good with operating rooms at all (my own experiences being entirely too recent, thank-you very much). I will be in like Flynn for the recovery room, but do not want to be in the room where the sharp instruments are! Owen will be in the hospital for 2 nights and we will be taking shifts staying with him around the clock. Expect some sleep deprivation for sure. However, we are very excited for Owen and can't wait to see his new look!

"before" surgical pics

2010-01-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

Here are Owen's "before" pics. Can't wait to see what magic the surgeons perform. We think he's already pretty cute so more cute will be just fine!

6 weeks later

2010-01-03T19:16:00.000-08:00

Well its hard to believe we've been home 6 weeks already. Truthfully, it feels like Owen has always been here, isn't that weird. It took us at least 2 weeks to be truly right with the jet lag. Everything up to Dec 19 was a blur for me personally, as I had to jump right back into my human resources studying, projects, and then write three finals. My marks are ok (knock on wood, still waiting on the results of the finals) which amazes me as I did most of it in a fog. And often covered in baby goober! Oh yes, there was that little thing called Christmas. We were soooo unprepared. Next year will be better, I promise! Who knows what Owen must be thinking about all of it, or as my friend puts it, "I love this Canada, I just get here and everyone has parties and presents all of the time, woo hoo!" Owen took it all in stride and had a great time, he's very social thats for sure. Big sister Rae-Lynn is working on her jealousy but I suspect that one will take awhile. She enjoys Owen's company MOST of the time. Things are much more stable now. Owen sleeps through the night now, and we have a pretty established schedule. Now that I am finished with school, I am able to focus my attention on the kids, which is a relief. They do keep us busy!

On the medical front, we jumped right into the line at Chedoke and Owen's surgeries are getting under way. He has already seen a surgeon, developmental specialist and an ENT doctor is soon to come. His lip closure surgery is scheduled for Jan 11. Owen's palate surgery will follow approximately March once his lip is fully healed. Then speech therapy begins. We can't wait to hear what he has to say, as it seems like it will be alot! Owen manages to communicate in his own way. We taught him basic baby sign language and he has his own sort of language that is pretty clear (example, hopping up and down when he wants his bottle, pretty clear eh?).

Reactions to Owen's appearance have been mostly positive. I admit I was a little bit nervous bringing Owen out socially for Christmas and around town but everyone has received him very well (thank-you!). We have had the odd uncomfortable "walmart moments", usually with other kids, but they are the exception. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that many of our friends have been researching cleft and are very curious about it. So, we are going to track Owen's surgical procedures on this blog for those who are interested. I'll start today by posting some before pics in a separate posting. The thing that has us most nervous about Owen's surgery is not the procedure itself but the recovery. He has to be in arm restraints (that keep his elbows from flexing) for 2 weeks, and likely will be miserable. o boy. So here we go! stay tuned!

Ni hao Beijing

2009-11-16T06:49:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Beijing. We are feeling much more comfortable here. I’m still not sleeping much but longer than I was able to manage in Nanchang. Beijing has changed quite a bit since we were here in 2004. It is much cleaner and the downtown feels much more upscale and prosperous. Some things have not changed, like the tourist destinations, pearl markets etc. It is wonderful to come to our hotel here and actually be able to drink the tap water. The hotel is very modern and comfortable and we have much more room. Owen really likes it here as he has room to run. We don’t stand out quite as much here because Beijing people are more used to seeing foreigners. Owen gets looks for his condition but not nearly as openly rude as we experienced in province.

Yesterday we attempted the Great Wall. Only problem was, it was bitterly cold with high winds. The kids were unable to handle the wind chill and retreated to the bottom pretty fast. Diehards like me (warmed by hormones) managed to get up to some views no problem. Oh well we tried it. As our guide says when in Beijing you pretty much have to go to The Wall. We are experiencing winter conditions here and I am very proud of self that I had the foresight to pack hats and mitts! Today we did some shopping at the Pearl Market (and so I was in my element). We travelled there by subway which was a first for me. The subway was excellent, very clean and modern. We had lunch at a local restaurant and it was very good. We’ve tried pretty much everything put on the plate and it has all been tasty.

Big sister challenges continue. As parents we are trying to be patient but it doesn’t always work. I’m hoping things will even out when we get back home to Canada. If anyone is thinking about bringing siblings on an adoption trip, feel free to call me for feedback on that topic. We are wondering now if we did the right thing by bringing her to China. We love Rae-Lynn dearly but man o man, its been a stressful week. The thing about adoption trips, they’re not vacations, they’re real work, integrating a new family member. At this point, although we are enjoying where we are, we are looking forward to getting home and getting everyone back into a stable routine. And having a proper cup of tea (although I did find Starbucks today and it was very good). And petting the cat :-D. Meanwhile, we have 2 more full days that are packed with goodies. Tomorrow we are off to Tienamen Square and forbidden city, and I am taking Rae-Lynn to see the Chinese acrobats in the evening (leaving Dad and son back at the hotel while we have some girl time). Wednesday, finishing up the shopping and then a Peking duck dinner. Then packing, then back on home.

Some Nanchang pics

2009-11-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

Nanchang, Friday

2009-11-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

Today is our last day in Nanchang. We are very glad! Temps are all over the place here. We started the week at 30 c, ended it at almost zero c. Midstream we also ended up changing hotel rooms because of the cockroaches (after Owen tried to catch one of them, it was time to move). Our room is small, we are not used to sleeping together in one room, and everyone is sleep deprived and tempers are wearing thin. Much as I am grateful to Jiangxi for producing my 2 lovely children, I am ready to get on the plane back to Beijing. Big sister Rae-Lynn is acting up to get our attention and we have had just about enough of it.

On the bright side, we have visited some local restaurants and the food has been just excellent. The shopping is good too, including a wacky visit to Walmart. We visited the Tang Wen (spelling anyone??) pavilion today and it was very beautiful. Owen continues to relax more every day and is a charming little man. He sleeps beautifully and we have had no problems. He only gets upset when you are late bringing him food, LOL.

Thursday, Nanchang

2009-11-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

Well those aren't the most flattering photos of me I must say. The humidity in Nanchang does not agree with my constitution and I am still pretty tired. (did I mention how hot it was?) I sure look like a new mom of 2. Once we are back in Beijing I'm sure I can pose for a nicer pic for you!

My kids look great though :-D.

Today was a better day. Our guide took our travellers to visit their foster mother so we were free to roam without a schedule. We went to the Chinese walmart which is pretty cool and found some toys to keep little ones busy. The people were nicer there too so that helped. We tried Chinese kfc, also weird but not bad. Owen was pretty impressed with the french fries. The only potty option was the squatty potty, and Rae-Lynn opted to hold it until we got back to the hotel. Can't say as I blame her, I did the same :-D. Taxi drives here are wild, you think you'll die about 50 times but miraculously you arrive alive. No big plans tonight, just continuing working on the jet lag and enjoying getting to know our Owen. Tomorrow, off to the pavillion, looks beautiful from here so we'll have some more pictures to share. bye all...

Introducing Owen

2009-11-11T22:52:00.001-08:00

Hello! Gotcha Day!

2009-11-09T22:57:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Nanchang!

After much internet finangling, we managed to get through to blogspot. Yes, Owen is finally here!

We arrived in Nanchang on Sunday (that would be Sat 12 hours earlier for all of you) at 2:00. After racing to the bank to cash our travellers cheques, we received the call that Owen (Nian Ke) was in the lobby. So there he was, with one of the nannies from FengCheng. He was scared and not too interested in coming with us. After Rae-Lynn warmed him up a bit with some goldfish crackers, we managed to get away. The first night was a hard one with much crying, but after a bath and a good sleep, Nian Ke decided we were ok. He is accepting of all of us, but greatly prefers Dad, much to Dad's delight.

What can we tell you about Owen? Well first off, his lip repair has not been done, so it is a bit of a challenge feeding him. Messy! He is very resourceful, LOVES to eat, and has figured out how to eat and drink everything. He drinks from a cup, pees on command in the toilet (wow), and has a very infectious laugh. He loves anything remotely mechanical, cars, trucks you name it. He is a very big eater and gets very mad if you don't get him his food right away. He has a sweet tooth and love cookies. He is little bit chunky, with a toddler belly, and not much hair. He has big eyes and round cheeks and is very active. Lucky us, he sleeps all night and takes regular naps. He likes to take baths and really likes putting things in and out of cups. He mimics us alot and is very smart. Already he is figuring out some english, starting with "ta", which is not really English is it?!

His adjustment is good so far. Today he saw a picture of his foster mother and headed for the door, wanting to go home, which was heartbreaking to see. He is mostly happy and laughing but has moments of sadness and needs comforting.
As predicted, the first 3 days in China were "labour" for us. We are operating on not much sleep. Jetlag is a toughie this time, particularily on Rae-Lynn, who is having a hard time behaving on a different time zone. We flew into Beijing on Sat, slept for one night (or not, as Rae-Lynn was jumping on the bed at 2:30 am) and then had to repack and go again to Nanchang. The Gloria in Nanchang is as we remember, trying hard to be western but still very Chinese. Rooster feet in the breakfast buffet, and a cockroach or 2 appearing in the bathroom (seriously, ew). Now that all of the adoption excitement is over with, we are getting caught up on our sleep and doing our best to enjoy Nanchang. For our travel group's refer

A message from the cat, Buddy

2009-11-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

I'm getting a little bit worried. Last time my people put up this funny bed, they brought home a very loud scary small person.

Surely they wouldn't do that again?? Didn't they know that was a horrible idea? Aren't I baby enough for them?

It is a very comfy bed though. The bear is a nice touch......

2 more sleeps!

2009-11-04T12:22:00.001-08:00

I couldn't resist posting this. This is Rae-Lynn's packing list. She is a very organized child! (unlike her mother).

3 more sleeps! and a big mess!

2009-11-03T17:43:00.001-08:00

Believe it or not, I do have a packing system (note the notepad and pen in the bottom right). I'm just a bit messier getting there than most people.

Our cats are getting very nervous now that the suitcases are out. They know something is up! Ha, just wait until they meet Owen.

Can't believe we're down to the wire! It has been a tense week for us. Rae-Lynn was sick with a cough flu thing (H1N1? we'll never know) and we were very worried that she would not be able to fly to China. Thankfully she's feeling better and will be on that plane. Now if we can all keep healthy for the next 48 hours, all will be good.

Another snag, we are missing a rather important document called "the notice of coming". Can't complete our adoption without it. Apparently it was couriered to our agency in Ottawa from China yesterday, so it probably will arrive after we are gone. And then, will need to be couriered TO China to catch up with us. The efficiency there is a mystery but as long as it arrives I'm not asking anymore questions.

Things are humming along otherwise. I am almost (almost!) finished turning in my school work. Next step is cleaning the house and packing. Oh yes, and the 2 midterms that I have to write before we leave.

We are all getting excited, and nervous! We are looking forward to meeting Owen and also petrified. Me in particular. I am so used to girls, how on earth will we know what he likes to do? LOL And according to Rae-Lynn, I am in charge of the 'poop'. Oh my, its been a few years since I changed a diaper. Hopefully it will all be like riding a bike!

11 more sleeps!

2009-10-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Wow, time has been flying by! Cannot believe it is almost that time! We have our itinerary now, if I can figure out how to put it on the side bar I'll do that now.....

Owen's room

2009-10-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

finally done! We still have to put the birds up on the blue wall, but this is pretty much what it will look like. Lucky boy gets the quietest room in our townhouse. Hopefully this will lead to lots of deep sleep :-D.

What a difference a month makes!

2009-10-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

Well, what has been happening? quite a lot thank you very much!!

1. Sept 17, I was laid off from my job at Siemens. This was expected, and actually pretty good timing. It has been a blessing having time at home to relax, prepare, and work on the last 3 courses of my hr certification. I am looking forward to a future in hr once I begin looking for work next year.

2. We have plane tickets. We depart for Beijing on Nov 6 at 2:30 pm. Which is (gulp) exactly 3 weeks from today. The time has been whipping by and now I am very aware of just how much remains to be done.

3. Owen's room is done! We took all of the pictures, packed up his care package and sent it off to our agency. The photo album is of our home and family (immediate and extended). Hopefully Owen will gain some comfort by recognizing us when we meet. However, can't say the same for us! We did receive a very detailed written update, which was great, but no pictures, no surgical status (sigh). I guess we'll just have to see for ourselves. I have a feeling Owen is going to be very very CUTE. We hear he is "chubby" and has large eyes.

4. We are expecting our itinerary any day now. I'll post it once we have it. Our citizenship approval is in, and we have our final letter of no objection from the Ontario ministry. So its all green light go.

So big, busy times. It amazes me that I am busier at home than I was at work (gee maybe that is why they didn't need me? LOL). I am starting to get a little bit nervous now. There is that part of the brain that remains deeply in denial that we're going to China at all, and it will be ripped right into reality when we head to the airport. Looking forward to it!

Rae-Lynn remains a cool customer on the whole topic. She mentions her brother from time to time but I would not describe her as excited. Hmmm. I'm sure she'll be more excited when we get closer to the date. Paul, Mr. Engineer, continues to view everything as a project to be completed, worry about that stage when we get to it sort of attitude. Which makes perfect logical sense, but then I was never very logical to begin with :-D.

Letter of Consent! (and happy birthday to me)

2009-09-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well imagine our surprise today to hear that our letter seeking consent has arrived at our adoption agency. This means, we've got travel dates! The timing couldn't be better, as today is also the day that I turned 40 (oh yes!).

We will be arriving in Beijing on Nov 7 and will stay for 2 weeks. This is much much earlier than anticipated and we are pleased. And terrified! There will be alot to do in the next (gulp) 7 weeks. Guess its time for me to paint that room! :-D

Hard to believe we'll have our Owen home for Christmas, but its true!

wow.

Still no updates though, although we are told anytime now. It would be very good to know what our son looks like now!

No letter, but pictures are coming!

2009-08-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Now that the temps are dropping, it is becoming very real that our Owen will be coming home soon! The weeks are flying by.

Still waiting on that letter. But, we are keeping busy. Big sister Rae-Lynn just finished camp, and we're getting ready to send her to her new school in a week's time. This weekend we'll be painting and setting up Owen's room so that we can take a pic of it to send him.

Our agency is asking the FengCheng SWI for updated pictures of Owen. Still waiting! He is only 6 months in the banner pic, and turning 18 months next week. So we are very anxious to see how he is looking today as a rough and tough toddler.

I have moments where I get busy and completely forget. Then I am out somewhere and see a cute little boy and go "oh yeah, we're getting one of those too!". :-D

Hello

2009-08-08T14:18:00.001-07:00

A little bit about us. We have been married for 11 years, and adopted our daughter Rae-Lynn from China in May of 2004. It was a great experience and we love Rae-Lynn very much. We always knew we would adopt again to add to our family. In 2007 we got the big adoption ball rolling once again.

Those who know us well know how challenging the first part of this journey has been, because you have supported us through it. And we love you for it. It was not easy this time around. Would we adopt from China or Canada? When? Who would it be? After alot of challenges on the Canadian side, in August of 2008 we decided enough already, China was the only route for us. We enrolled in the Waiting Children's program with our agency, Children's Bridge, and requested a young child with cleft lip/palate. And waited. And cried a few times. And then...

On June 16, we received a very important call and email from Children's Bridge.

Congratulations on the referral of your son/brother

Feng, Nianke
Date of Birth: March 3, 2008

Fengcheng CWI, Jiangxi Province

WOW. A boy. That was a very big surprise even though we didn't specify a gender. Rae-Lynn informed us that her brother's name was Owen, and that settled that. Poor monkey will have the very long label of Owen Kennedy Nian Ke Fray.

All of our paperwork is done, and now we are waiting for something called a Letter Seeking Consent from the Chinese government. We estimate this will arrive in the early fall, and we will travel closer to Christmas time. About a month after we return home with Owen, he will be having corrective surgery done at Chedoke Children's hospital in Hamilton. We met with their wonderful co-ordinator, and know that we are in good hands.

So, please join us on this journey. We have about 4 months to wait and would love the company. Please check back often for more updates.

(Lorna, Paul & Rae-Lynn)

2009-08-08T13:57:00.000-07:00